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Rabbie Burns Benefits (Produced by Soundthief)

from Need the Character (s) by Jackal Trades

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lyrics

Bard from the graveyard they wont let him back in,
he`s a zombie womaniser and he`s guilty as sin
want an auld scots poem? just ask him
want a sensitive soul? just add gin
he`s struggling to comprehend Twenty Fourteen
not that that would stop his notorious courting
to get a fling you need the fame and poetry's obsolete
so he signed up to a show called Benefits Street
he recites more scripts than Meryl Streep
and chooses eccy over leccy cause the price too steep
cameras always on him one way or another
big brother is watching him watching big brother
a poignant moment so succinct and apt and cunning
he verbally slapped the cunts currently running
his country being sold out to Amazon and Google
but they cut away to him munching a Pot Noodle

They reincarnated Rabbie Burns last night
with a shovel , a hip flask and a flashlight
no-one cares what Rabbie thinks about taxing the elite
they only care what Rabbie 'burns` on Benefits Street

The Bard is a joke now the viewers are laughing at
attacked by paparazzi in his own home habitat
minds too small for concepts they need the characters
you wont get funding for an idea you less fit the narrative
we need two dimensional wee shites
with three stripes , take great dee light whenever he fights
smokes Barlinnie roll ups to suppress his appetite
foods rarely on the menu cause moneys too tight
watches colour TV cause nothings ever black 'n' white
as he prays for a cracking ride before he`s back inside
those losing get a doing as the going gets good
poverty porn Hustlers Razzle with the nedtube
get lube as the anally attentive get inventive
and find new ways to fuck you with financial incentive
Rabbie painted a picture bout it and became quite inventive
but it started with a spliff
where the episode ended

Rabbie's so famous now his name is muddied by broadsheets
Clarkson and Littlejohn belittle his broad speech
his regional accent is mocked in Mock the Week
George Osbourne uses him as an election plea
from the street young team to the club drug scene
thinks Rabbie Burns is just another Marvin from The Scheme
Marvel super T : the anti-hero
ignorant like roman numeral`s concept of zero
buy high , sell low , `Hi ! I`m here to fix the deficit`
deliver deliberate deception to the desperate
in a desolate square mile renaming whole towns
dressing the haggis with decaying pass -me - downs
they are playing the system by refusing to die
we built this city on ratings and a lie
squeezed middle ignore what Eric Pickles biscuits cost
and blame the fictional devil , the fiddler of the north

On benefits and proud of the hunger and the struggle,
the 8% price hike and the keep warm huddle,
On benefits and proud of the pre pay meter beeping
The cheap and nasty noodles , Bad eating, lack of heating
Proud of inflation holding my family to ransom
Proud of being sick, hated, jaded and sanctioned
On benefits and proud of the overcrowded tenements,
Suicide attempt rent debt letter sentiments
On benefits and proud of the MP`s expenses
The queen gets a wage rise to buy higher fences,
Proud of where I live becoming such a dive
On benefits and proud of never watching Channel Five

credits

from Need the Character (s), released November 5, 2016
Produced by Soundthief
Additional recording by Gordy Duncan JR

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